“They stuff people’s heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall,”he told Harry. “Want to come upstairs and practice?”
“No, thanks,” said Harry. “The poor toilet’s never had anything ashorrible as your head down it — it might be sick.” Then he ran, beforeDudley could work out what he’d said.
One day in July, Aunt Petunia took Dudley to London to buy his Smeltingsuniform, leaving Harry at Mrs. Figg’s. Mrs. Figg wasn ‘t as bad asusual. It turned out she’d broken her leg tripping over one of her cats,and she didn’t seem quite as fond of them as before. She let Harry watchtelevision and gave him a bit of chocolate cake that tasted as thoughshe’d had it for several years.
That evening, Dudley paraded around the living room for the family inhis brand-new uniform. Smeltings’ boys wore maroon tailcoats, orangeknickerbockers, and flat straw hats called boaters. They also carriedknobbly sticks, used for hitting each other while the teachers weren’tlooking. This was supposed to be good training for later life.
As he looked at Dudley in his new knickerbockers, Uncle Vernon saidgruffly that it was the proudest moment of his life. Aunt Petunia burstinto tears and said she couldn’t believe it was her Ickle Dudleykins, helooked so handsome and grown-up. Harry didn’t trust himself to speak. Hethought two of his ribs might already have cracked from trying not tolaugh.